A couple of months ago, I blogged about how my life was a whirlwind — and to some extent, it still is. But now, it’s much calmer, more like a slight breeze.
Life has pretty much gone back to normal. And I’m loving it.
I’ve settled into my new job and I’m really enjoying it. My mom has settled into her new life at the nursing home, and she’s actually doing well and making new friends. I won’t be seeing my ex this summer, and that’s a good thing, because I have finally kicked him out of my heart. And my daughter is about to graduate from elementary school and embark on a new chapter in her life.
I’m also doing a ton of writing — both on my work-in-progress… and at work. And I’m reading novels again too — something I’ve found it hard to find the time and concentration to do in the past. It’s great to feel productive again.
As I reflect on what’s held me together and kept me going during these past few months, one word comes to mind: HOPE. Certainly my faith, my friends and family have played a role. But for me, it was the hope that everything that was previously topsy-turvy in my world would eventually right itself. Hope has been a constant theme throughout my life and I try to instill that quality in my characters. That despite everything they might have been through, they can have hope that they can move forward, forgive and love again. Because I know they can.
Because I know I can too.
MLUV:) Be Blessed!
Since my last post on February 14, my life has been a rollercoaster ride.
— Updated my resume with the intent to only send it out in search of freelance/contract work for extra cash. Didn’t even consider leaving my current position.
— Saw a great job opportunity, sent in resume, they wanted me, I only wanted them part-time and they said ok, we’ll keep your resume on file.
— Did some thinking and decided it couldn’t hurt to talk to them. Had two interviews with the President of the firm and he offered me the job.
— Took a week of soul-searching and negotiation and ended up taking the job — more money, bonus potential, plus flex-time so I can be home when my daughter gets home from school. Pretty much everything I wanted.
— Got my first rejection letter from a publisher. That sucked. Bad. Really bad.
— My sister and I made a very difficult decision of putting my 80-year old mom in a nursing home. Best and safest place for her with the medical conditions she is facing, but it broke my heart.
— Will be seeing my ex-boyfriend in three months and it’s going to be very awkward. I still care about him, but he doesn’t give a rat’s ass about me, so I’m already feeling anxious.
— Tried to sell my piano, had two interested parties, but nothing happened so I’m back to square one.
— Tried to go on a diet, exercise in the morning, stop eating chocolate — but that only lasted about an hour every time I tried. The only exercise I’ve been doing is opening up the fridge door.
How do you write through the pains and joys of life? Tell me!
MLUV:) Be blessed!
Writing isn’t easy. Neither is love.
I don’t know about you, but I have a love/hate relationship with my writing. Somedays I love what I do. I’m in the groove. Every thought I have somehow seems to translate into the perfect word. And when I’m done for the evening, I am on cloud nine. Sometimes, I am so excited about what I wrote that I cannot sleep. Swoon!
Other days…not so much. Those are usually the days when the words aren’t flowing from fingertip to screen as easily as I like. I’m struggling to sit down at the keyboard, and when I get there, I just want to be doing something else. Like sleeping.
Remember that heartbreaking tune “I Can’t Make You Love Me?”, sung so beautifully by Bonnie Raitt? The words were reality check for me the first time I heard them. How many times have you and I tried so hard to make someone love us? Our parents? Our children? Our man? Friends? Be honest. We’ve all experienced this.
When I realized I can’t make someone do anything, least of all return feelings they do not share, a burden was lifted from my shoulders. And I knew that I could love someone and be ok with that person not loving me back. Sure it sucks. Yes, it hurts. But it’s better than that four-letter alternative.
Love to Write? Love your Writing.
For me, sometimes I struggle to accept my writing as it is. Right now, flaws and all. It’s kind of like falling in love. Those first few months or years are heady, full of joy and excitement. But then you get down into the everyday normality of being in a relationship. That’s where real committment comes in. This is the point where many couples break up. When writers quit writing. When dreamers, stop dreaming and stop pursuing their goals. It’s a dangerous zone to be in.
Get Your “GaGa” On!
- Find a way to continually fall in love with our writing — day after day.
- Don’t force it. Simply open your eyes and look at what you’ve done so far.
- Review your goals. Think about why you are doing this in the first place…
- And then say those vows again. Recommit yourself to your writing.
Tell yourself “I love you. I love my writing. I love what I doing right now. At this moment, I’m successful. Because I’m doing what I love. No matter what.”
How do you fall in love with your writing? Tell me!
MLUV:) Be Blessed!